Woman Sees Screaming Face Of ‘Donald Trump’ Inside Red Pepper

The Huffington Post:

A woman in southern England was slicing up a red bell pepper when she spotted what she said was the image of President-elect Donald Trump screaming straight back at her.

“A discussion about Trump and the state of the world was going on while the veg was being sliced up,” Janet Ayers told The Register. “It was as if the pepper was mirroring the conversation.”

...

After getting over the initial shock, Ayers said she continued chopping up the pepper and added it to the vegetable chili she was cooking at her home in Portsmouth.

“We ate it for dinner and suffered no ill effects from the Trump supper,” she told The Register. “We are trying to carry on our lives as normal, after the incident, but may approach the next pepper with caution.”

How's That Recount Working For Ya?

General Mattis, Our New Secretary Of Defense

The Federalist:

Mattis stood. As always, he spoke without notes, having long ago memorized everything.

“Gentlemen, this is going to be the most air-centric division in the history of warfare. Don’t you worry about the lack of shaping; if we need to kill something, it is going to get killed. I would storm the gates of Hell if Third Marine Air Wing was overhead.”

He looked toward the back of the cavernous room, and spoke loud, clear, and confident, hands on his hips.

“There is one way to have a short but exciting conversation with me,” he continued, “and that is to move too slow. Gentlemen, this is not a marathon, this is a sprint. In about a month, I am going to go forward of our Marines up to the border between Iraq and Kuwait. And when I get there, one of two things is going to happen. Either the commander of the Fifty-First Mechanized Division is going to surrender his army in the field to me, or he and all his guys are going to die.”

Nothing much else needed to be said after that.

Nobel Committee Awards Hillary Participation Medal

People's Cube:

The Nobel Prize Committee today has awarded Hillary Clinton the prestigious Nobel Participation Prize for participating in the 2016 election and for what she WOULD have done had she defeated Donald Trump.

Just as Obama won the prize before her for what he was going to do to promote world peace - such as setting the middle east aflame and creating a refugee crisis while assassinating leaders of sovereign nations in 'Operation Arab Spring' - Hillary wins this year's award for what she might have done had she won.

We give Secretary Clinton our warmest congratulations on her participation prize.

Secretary of Defense Mattis

ABC: Christmas Caused San Bernadino Terror Attack

The Daily Wire:

In a report published just as Americans have begun putting up their Christmas decorations and sending out Christmas Party invites, ABC News suggests that an office Christmas Party, not ISIS, may have been the true "trigger" for Syed Farook and his Pakistani jihadi wife Tashfeen Malik to murder 14 innocent people and injure another 22. 

"Authorities believe the terror attack on Dec. 2, 2015 in San Bernardino may have been triggered by a mandatory training session and lunch replete with holiday decorations including a Christmas tree which shooter Syed Farook was forced to attend," a team of ABC journalists reports. 

Hillary Fan Checked Into Psych Ward When Trump Won

Daily Caller:

A Hillary Clinton supporter admitted himself to the psychiatric ward on election night because he realized she was going to lose to Donald Trump.

Benjamin Ryan — considered a “Hillblazer” because he raised over $100,000 for the former Democratic nominee — detailed his suicidal nervous breakdown for the Huffington Post on Wednesday.

He said he was “catatonic, plagued by involuntary jerking motions, speech patterns disjointed, weeping uncontrollably.”

“I found out Donald Trump had won the Electoral College while midstream in providing a urine sample for the emergency psychiatric staff of a New York City public hospital,” Ryan writes. “The unlockable bathroom door in this unescapable wing was ajar, and I could hear the victorious Mike Pence’s sinister Sunday-school baritone taunting me with the truth from the hallway television.”

“Drained of tears, too tired to sleep, I stared at the fluorescent ceiling lights —which, indifferent to our suffering, remained on throughout the night — and endured the passing time by willing my thoughts to vanish into the dull glow. For a second, I imagined someone would burst in and proclaim, ‘It’s all right, Hillary won!’ and I would bound out of bed, awoken from this nightmare.”

“Terror drove me to this interrupted state,” Ryan continued for Huffington Post.

“I was afraid for the nation, for the stigmatized and oppressed. I was also afraid for my own life. Because the values and principles I hold dear felt fatally incompatible with the hate and bigotry that Trumpism has come to stand for. I did not want to live in a world that would elect such a man as president.”


Ryan described what he was wearing in the VIP section of what was supposed to be Clinton’s victory party in New York — “a red belt, white skinny jeans, and a blue Hillary-as-Rosie-the-Riveter T-shirt, my hair lavishly coiffed into a confident pompadour.”

“Results from battleground states trickled in and an incredulous anxiety took hold. I left the VIP party area for a spell and stood with the expectant crowd before the elaborate victory speech stage,” he said.

“Staring saucer-eyed at the CNN screen above the set, I began to worry that my conspicuous outfit made me a sitting duck for the army of television cameras.”

“Sure enough, just as I bolted back to the VIP area, I got a text from a worried friend who had spotted me on MSNBC. ‘Are you alright?’ he asked.

‘I want to die,’ I replied.


Ryan eventually left the hospital days later.

“Concerned friends and family who kept me company over the hallway payphone told me I wasn’t alone in my anguish, and that a wide network of others were mobilized to rise up and fight back,” he said. “The world needed my voice. I mattered.

“Poetically, I was given my walking orders at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. I was now a veteran of institutional care — shell shocked, but on my feet.”

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dmcaward • a day ago

When he finds out he has to pay a $5,000 deductible for his hospital visit, thanks to Obamacare, he will probably jump off a building